As of late I’ve been in contact with my Father, Don Ameche. It’s been a long time, hard to believe some 28 years.

I am thankful that the peace and open-heart I thought I had in respect to my Father was real. So happy it wasn’t just lip service and/or the words of a wounded child trying to convince herself that she’s healed and moved on.

My Father is flawed — just like me. He’s gotten some things in life wrong — just like me.  He’s gotten some things right too — just like me. He just happens to be my Father and as I’ve learned from close to 29 years of parenting, there is no blue-print for this life-journey.

If you’re lucky, you have someone to show you the way — which I did, several of them — and you accept your God-given responsibility by doing the best you know how. And when you don’t know, you ask God to show you. And when you miss the mark (which you will), you ask forgiveness from those you’ve wounded and move forward.

My treasure today is the tranquility and peace that has somehow found its way into the heart of a girl who I once considered the walking wounded.

It doesn’t make me and/or life perfect — I’m still struggling with the realities of Mom’s condition, still worried about the future my children will have, and though damn good (smile), still trying to figure out how to be a better Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt and Friend to those I love most.

No, tranquility and peace doesn’t make life perfect but it sure as heck makes it more livable. Thankful for the spiritual exhale…

Happy Earth Day to you. Love your Mother!:-)

Luckie.

Newana & Marcia ~ my Big Sisters! And for the first time in my LIFE, I don’t mind being the “baby sister”! Nope. Not one bit!:-)

Like many in the Geneablogger community, with the approach of the Grandma’s Hand CoAAG, I’ve been carried away this week with many fond memories of the 3 Grandmothers who had such a HUGE impact on my life — Annie, Lena and Fannie.

In my heart, I’d committed to not write about my Paternal Grandmother, Lovella COBB DANIELS {1919 – 2005}.

Given that I’d never really known Chick (her nickname), my thought was that I had nothing to contribute. But, I was wrong — her absence has influenced my life and it bears acknowledgment.

I can only recall seeing my Grandmother twice in my life — both occasions complete flukes. I was 16 and 17 years old respectively, and both meetings carried the same message — Chick was not comfortable with my presence. She was cordial, but very distant and brief.

Then in 1995 I returned to Cincinnati and made a deliberate attempt to reconnect with Chick and my Father, Don Ameche. He was responsive, a you’ve read in my 7 Letters From My Father post. Chick however sent the message that too much time had passed — it was “best to let things be”.

For me that was the end. I never made any further attempt to contact her.

When she passed in 2005, I received the message by way of my Family in Cincinnati and though I’d lost a Grandmother, I had no grief… no anger either, just no emotion.

And frankly, I’d rarely thought of Lovella Daniels at all, until in 2008 I was “gifted” with the family bible that belonged to her and my Great Grandmother, Myrtle Cobb.

This bible has given me something she could not find the will or strength to do while here — a part of her. Because of it I know that she was a God-fearing woman. There are handwritten prayers and scriptures throughout its pages. There are notes about honoring her Pastor’s birthday. There are acknowledgments, by way of child-written cards, that she was a loved Aunt and Grandmother.

Wow. Somewhere in Lovella Cobb Daniels love existed and I believe she and/or God would not allow me to continue living believing she had existed without a heart.

Also because of the family bible received from a complete stranger, I was blessed to learn of my COBB lineage — 4+ generations deep AND the biggest gift — the notation of my [unknown] siblings names!

It’s taken me some time to find the nerve to connect with my newly found siblings, but last night, via Facebook (yes, Facebook!) I chatted with my Sister, “M” for quite awhile and guess what, found out about more siblings!:-)

Who knows what the future will hold? I pray it brings my new sisters and brothers fully into my life. I have more than enough room to love them!:-)

Could it be my Grandmother is behind these coincidental occurrences that are quietly mending the part of my heart that’s been void? Afterall, it is HER bible and Cobb lineage that I am learning of.  And, it is because of her entries that I came to know of my siblings.

Unless someone can prove otherwise, I’m going to believe that my Grandmother Lovella is gifting me from Heaven with what she knows is most important to me — family and Ancestry.

Maybe whatever grieved her on earth has been healed now, and she’s decided to pass it on. Yep, that works for me…

Here’s to the future and healing… thank goodness we never get too old to experience it.

Luckie.

Over the years, I have graciously been the beneficiary of many–small and large–genealogical Random Acts of Kindness.

But of ALL the gifts received, none stand-out like the family bible of my Paternal Grandmothers –Myrtle PERRY COBB (Great Grand) and Lovella COBB DANIELS (Grand)–returned to me by Debbie, a complete stranger.

Even more amazing, that lends to my belief that the Ancestors are masters at executing their well-laid plans, is that I discovered Debbie’s 5 year old RootsWeb message-board post (the medium that connected us) by way of Allum Spence Williams and a Google search!

It’s true — the span of time from the day Debbie posted on RootsWeb and I *Googled* my paternal surnames DANIELS/COBB and found her post, was 5 years!:-)

In celebration of my first Carnival of African-American Genealogy submission, I’d like to revisit and share this PHENOMENAL moment with you, my genea-family. I’ve re-posted three 2008 OGR posts that clearly reflect what a Random Act of Kindness can mean to a persons life.

How ironic too, I just realized while going through my bible, both my late Grandmother Lovella (3/18) and my Father, Don Ameche (3/20) will have a birthday just in time for CoAAG’s debut! So this post is timely ~ Happy Birthday! May peace and life’s ease flow for you, in both the here and the hereafter.

Enjoy my friends and thank you for supporting me through this journey. There are MANY more stories to tell and adventures to come!:-)

Luckie.

**************

1 Post Can Change Your Life!
6 August 2008

Why is the ability to research Genealogy online such a PHENOMENAL gift?

Earlier today I received a comment on OGR from A. Spence – a NC Genealogist whose post about having a GHD {Genealogy Haters Degree} struck a familiar cord with me about how frustrating this work, of connecting the ancestral dots, can be at times.

As I was exiting A. Spence’s blog, I realized that one of her Family surnames is DANIELS – my maiden name.

Knowing that genealogy “jewels” can appear at any time, I called my Mom to query her about the origin of my Father’s family roots. Did she know where the family of my Grandfather, William DANIELS was from originally? No. Did she remember my Father’s Mother’s maiden name? COBB. Did she ever know any of my paternal Grandparents? No, not really – just my Father’s Grandmother who she called “Grandma Cobb”.

So I made a comment about this information being long gone with the passing of my very, VERY distant Grandmother, Lovella Cobb DANIELS last year, and hung up the phone.

But Google was calling my name – I entered a query for “William Daniels Lovella Cobb”. That search produced this link as the FIRST result: http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/COBB/2003-06/1056461415

This is MY Family folks! Can you believe it?

The people listed as appearing in this COBB Family Bible are my Grandfather, Grandmother, Father, my Brothers & Sisters – who I have never met, Aunts & Uncles – who I never knew existed. Heck it even names 4 {YES 4!} generations of my Paternal Grandmothers!

It appears that “Debbie” had the Bible in 2003 & posted this to RootsWeb in the hope of finding a Family member to give the Bible to. I have an email (or 2) out to Debbie in the hope she still has the family bible in her care.

Nevertheless, even if she no longer has the bible, this post has introduced me to a family I never knew I had.

OMG!!! 1 post can change your life!:-)

Cousin Mechie

OMG! My COBB Family Bible is Coming!
10 August 2008

Greetings Family!

A few days ago I posted about a series of events that led to my finding a 5 YEAR OLD forum post online re: a Family Bible belonging to my Father’s Maternal Grandmother {http://ourgeorgiaroots.com/?p=215}.

Well today the original poster, “Debbie” contacted me & is mailing me the COBB & DANIELS Family Bible! Can you believe this?!

This is the side of my Family that I never knew & had given up hope of knowing anything about.

Amazing! My [unknown] Brothers & Sisters have also been noted in the bible!

This is a God-given opportunity & I will NOT take it for granted. There are no words to sum up the feeling, so I will just say I am thankful!:-)

Cousin Mechie

My Father’s Daughter
19 August 2008

Friends & Family, I received my COBB Family Bible! Let me tell you who I am…

My Father is Don Ameche DANIELS. He is the only child born to William & Lovella {COBB} DANIELS {both deceased}.

Lovella was Daughter to Williard Leroy & Myrtle {PERRY} COBB. Myrtle was Daughter to Richard & Charlotte PERRY. Williard was Son to George & Mary {SMITH} COBB.

Checkout the Daniels & Cobb Image Gallery I’ve started!

From what I can tell all Families were originally from Kentucky & migrated across the bridge into Cincinnati, Ohio. The Cobbs were/are members of Trinity Missionary Baptist Church in the Madisonville community.

My Daniels Sisters & Brothers listed in the Bible are – Harry {the oldest}, Newana, Marcia, Dante Ameche & Raegan Lenora.

Today, after I told him my story, the Pastor of Trinity Missionary gave me the phone number of my Sisters {Newana & Marcia}, Mother – Margaret. Although afraid of the response, I could not resist calling.

I spoke to my Sisters Aunt who, given the circumstances, was very gracious & patient with me. Without knowing me, I could hear compassion in her voice & that alone put me at ease. She explained some of the mysteries surrounding my Father & Family and provided a few names of others she thought could help explain more.

She told me of how my Sisters, like me, are Mothers. One even a Grandmother! She also agreed to give my number to my Sisters, in the event they wanted to be in touch.

This evening when I arrived home, I had a voicemail FROM MY SISTER MARCIA! My Sister! Her message said that she’d received my number from her Aunt & that it was beautiful that I wanted to meet them! I’ll be on the phone with her first thing tomorrow morning! Hope I can sleep tonight!:-)

Through the Creator’s grace & one Act of Kindness (http://ourgeorgiaroots.com/?p=215), I am healing a void that I had long since believed healed.

Thanks to everyone who has offered me encouragement & support since this “journey” began just over 2 weeks ago.

I don’t know by what miracle I arrived here & where the journey will travel next. I just know there is peace & I am blessed.

Cousin Mechie

I’ve been doing this Internet thingy for many a moon (both personally and professionally) and it’s seldom that anything online can catch me off-guard. However, yesterday was the exception.

While poking around my blog, I noticed that someone online had done a search for my Father, Don Ameche Daniels and my late paternal Grandmother, Lovella Cobb Daniels.

From the search criteria I could tell this person knew EXACTLY who he/she was looking for, that they’d searched 6 times on the same keywords and that the search landed he/she here, at Our Georgia Roots.

I know that visitor took time to read posts and viewed the budding Daniels/Cobb photo album I have online.

I also know that once that person landed here — if he/she didn’t know before — it was obvious they’d landed on a site belonging to Luckie Daniels, Don Ameche’s former namesake and daughter.

All of this left me very disturbed and a bit sad. Who could that have been?

I know that my Father and unknown siblings are out there. I so wish whoever was searching and found me, would go a step further and make contact.

How could I be a true genealogist/lineage-lover and not want to know all of who I am and who I am connected to?

In 1996, due to a series of life circumstances, I found myself briefly back home in Cincinnati and by way of letters — in touch with my Father.

Over a few months, we exchanged 7 letters and the exchange healed my heart.

Before them I was a wounded and abandoned girl, lacking understanding. After them, I was an accepting and forgiving woman, aware that though my Father, Don Ameche was just a simple human, trying to figure life out just like me.

Much of who I am today is due to the words my Father scribed on just a few pieces of paper. He didn’t know it, but he truly gave me the gift of a lifetime — a healed heart and spirit.

I wanted to write these words yesterday, on Treasure Chest Thursday and transcribe the last communication from him penned on September 16, 1996, but just couldn’t find the presence of mind. So forgive my tardiness.

Today the words flow with ease and I will allow the letters to remain between he and I ~ they are a treasure indeed  because in spite of my choice of name, I am and will always be my Father’s daughter.

I pray the next visit, from a loved but unknown visitor, will yield a connection.

May it be so…

Luckie.

P.S. Bet you’re saying there goes that number “7″ again huh? Oh well, I’m just lucky/Luckie I guess!:-)

On the seventh hour, of the seventh day,
on the seventh month, the seven doctors say:
He was born for good luck, and that you’ll see;
I got seven hundred dollars, and don’t you mess with me

Y’know I’m here
Everybody knows I’m here
And I’m the hoochie-coochie man
Everybody knows I’m here

Hoochie Coochie Man
Muddy Waters

About the time you’ll be reading this post, I’ll be preparing myself [and/or completing] what will certainly be a turning-point moment in my life — the legal change of my name from Dona Amechia TAYLOR to Luckie DANIELS.

It’s only recently since I began this journey in November {Tombstone Tuesday: What’s In A Name?}, that I recalled as a child being told by Mom she’d “marked” me after a Friend named “Lucky”. She often joked about resenting the fashionista Lucky while pregnant and bloated with me and thought I possessed Lucky’s flair!:-)

Somehow over the years I’d forgotten that and just attributed my affinity to the nickname Luckie to the timing of my birth – 07.07 at 7.

But today, it makes no matter the underlying motivation or the loss memory of a woman I [unfortunately] never had the opportunity to meet.

Today is about not burying my name {which is why it could not be coined Tombstone Tuesday} but about putting it to rest.

I can admit now, it’s never held for me the honor and pride being a namesake should have. Over the years I’ve permitted people to slaughter its pronunciation countless times, because in truth, I was not personally attached to it.

I was ashamed to hold the given name of a man I do not know and more importantly, whose life path I do not understand or respect.

Seems like the more I learned about the significance of a person’s name across cultures, the less comfortable I became with my own.

For family and friends who may not understand my desire to make such a drastic life change, I ask that you trust my need to liberate myself from a name that has felt more like a curse than a blessing. A weight that I do not deserve.

I really thought there would be tears by now, but none have come [yet].

There is just the feeling of something real {albeit invisible} lifting from my shoulders — I feel light.

I feel free.

Luckie Daniels.
January 19, 2010

{Lyrics Hoochie Coochie Man 1954 Chess Records; Recorded by Muddy Waters/written by Willie Dixon}

I am my Father’s namesake – Dona Amechia DANIELS, but not for long. Yesterday I began the legal process of changing my name to Luckie DANIELS.

Why you ask have I waited until 42 (and a half!:-) to change a name that I’ve lived with for my entire life? Simply, because it’s time.

Without anger but yes — with a fair amount of hurt still, I no longer feel the need to carry the name of a man I do not know… the name of a man who’s only contribution to my life was his DNA.

My genealogy research and spiritual practice over the years have taught me the significance and power of a name; the strength and life force that lives behind a word.

Because I have great reverence for a word’s power, I no longer wish to carry the badge of my Father’s name nor the karma of his actions.

Some may not like hearing it but while Slavery strengthened us in many respects, it also weakened us culturally by breaking many sacred family bonds.

It left men unable to protect their women, children and family; unable (without the threat of death) in essence, to be men.

Women and girls were left exposed without covering — to be repeatedly violated at whim and then to experience further abuse at the hands of wrathful mistresses.

No matter what the bond of the slave to another, it was not protected. A human being cannot encounter this experience, for countless times spanning HUNDREDS of years, without it manifesting into a very physical, tangible reality.

Had the degradation stopped in 1865, I think our present culture would look differently. But as we all know, the abuse continued and with the karma it created, produced living descendants who unknowingly inherited their Ancestors survival traits.

My Father is such a descendant. Though brilliant in mind, something deep inside of him is wounded. Broken even. This is the reason I have no anger — he has no issue with me, his Daughter — his issues are with self.

I and my many siblings were just the causalities of his open wound.

But life is to precious to live it any other way than EXACTLY as you’d want it, so that said, I am laying to rest the Given name that I have never been proud to carry.

The surname, DANIELS — will remain in tact. It is broader than my Father and speaks to my Bloodline. I will never forget that one of my Daniels and/or COBB Ancestors gifted me from the grave with my Great Grandmother Cobb’s family bible. (Bless you!)

They too are a part of me and are with me.

As for my Father, I pray for him often that he have a life filled with ease and that he and every other living descendant of Emancipated Slaves, find their way to right history’s wrongs.

We are not hopeless — we just have work to do.

As for me, it’s calling the name of a girl born the 7th day, of the 7th month, at 7PM, my own — Luckie DANIELS.

So although it’s Tombstone Tuesday, I am not burying my Father’s name nor my connection to him. I am merely setting myself free of it to embrace the destiny of my choosing — not its inherited incarnation.

I am Luckie.

Yesterday while reading Sandra TALIAFERRO’S blog – I Never Knew My Father, I was moved to tears by the realization that we — the living descendants — are are TRULY doing our Ancestors work.

A descendant of emancipated slaves, San’s journey of tracing her Father’s Genealogy, discovering & connecting with unknown family members – including a brother & embracing her true surname – TALIAFERRO, rings all to familiar.

This is at least one side of MY personal story too… it’s the reason why coming into possession of my Paternal Great Grandmother’s DANIELS-COBB family bible was such a phenomenal & DIVINE gift.

Receiving the bible tells me that although I didn’t know my Paternal DANIELS & COBB Ancestors, they know me AND in turn, intend for me to know them. That bible is a gesture from beyond to heal me — to right my Father’s & Grandmother’s wrong by embracing one of their lost children.

Then this morning, by way of Toni at LowCountry Africana, I’m introduced to Sally. A descendant of slave owners, wrestling with the grief & guilt of discovering her CULP Ancestors not only owned slaves, but her 3rd Grandfather, Peter CULP, a minister, fathered a slave — Martha.

Sally is sharing her family story, looking to her spiritual community for support & has forwarded her family records to the USF Africana Project to assist with preservation & dissemination of the history.

Sally’s also working to connect with her lost family — her Great-Great Aunt Martha’s descendants. This is her journey.

Amazing, how although we enter this history from different sides of the coin — slave ancestored & slave descendants — we have very similar missions, to tell our Ancestors stories & when presented with the opportunity, to heal the deep-rooted wounds created by the institution of Slavery.

This is our common ground.

I’m encouraged when I read about Sally’s efforts or I receive a comment from Lori, a descendant of the CODY’S who owned my Catie, who is as excited as I am about my [potential] discovery of  Aly/Allie, Catie’s Sister!

While it doesn’t remove the sting caused by those descendants of slave owners who still refuse to acknowledge common Ancestral bonds and/or share information that could assist with our personal efforts to pull together a fragmented history, it is evidence that our work is FAR from hopeless.

To the contrary, we are all our Ancestors GREATEST hope! In the words of my Great Grandmother Annie, “Children, tell the truth & shame the devil!”

Our work continues…

Luckie.

By birth I am my Father’s namesake, Dona Amechia.

By fate I am born the 7th day, of the 7th month, at 7Pm… thus the nickname, “Luckie”.

With all that is happening  to Mother Earth today & in the lives of her children, I am thankful for my 43 years!

Above is a portrait of me & one of my Maternal Grandmother, Anbownes {Fannie Louella Jackson}, ironically illustrated at 43 yrs. too!

Wow, happy birthday to me… I’m a big girl now!:-)

Luckie.

This is the only picture I have of my Mom – Geraldine, my Dad – Don Ameche & me – the little bundle of joy on the couch.

High school sweethearts, he was the love of her life & for [almost] 43 yrs, she has been the love of mine.

Happy 68th Birthday Mom!

I love you!:-)