Interesting that as I began to pen my memories of Fannie Louella JACKSON BARWICK {1920 – 1992}, my beloved Maternal Grandmother, Stevie Wonder’s rendition of Bridge Over Troubled Water began to play.

My Lord, without a doubt there is no single person who had a greater impact on my life than Anbownes. There is no person’s absence, that I miss more.

She was a firm, honest, no-nonsense straight-shooter. She was everything you dislike as a child and everything you come to respect and admire as an adult.

She was the personification of honor. People spoke [and speak] of her with reverence.

My Grandmother was regal in appearance, always impeccably dressed, with the most beautiful, pecan hued hands and fingernails I’ve ever seen. There are moments when I seem to catch a hint of her gardenia scent. There are MANY days when I miss the sound of her deep, husky voice singed from many years of smoking.

Her love and loyalty were the rock we all –especially my Mom– held on to and truth be told, Mom started leaving us the day Anbownes transitioned.

I know now, what I didn’t quite understand then… watching a good Mother leave you is the hardest life challenge any child will face. It is impossible to sustain this kind of separation (not loss) and not be permanently changed.

By example, Anbownes and Mom taught a scared (and clueless) child how to Mother her Son. And though hurt by my circumstance, she never faltered in support. Because she stood by me, I am the woman I am today.

Once during her daily bath, she told me that if she were a millionaire, she could not have had better care. Those words comfort me now. I know without a doubt, she knew that I loved her.

I was with Anbownes to the very end, standing beside her when she transitioned.  And when she “went home”, I began a new journey — across a bridge — to become a me that I could be proud of; a me that was more like her.

When you’re weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I’m on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

In honor of Fannie Louella Jackson Barwick, Anbownes, my bridge over troubled water — both then and now.

I love you.

Luckie.

P.S. Bownes, how am I doin’?!:-)

[Image source: Fannie Jackson age 18 yrs old ~ 1938]

I love this picture of my Great-Grandmother, Annie CARTER JACKSON {1898 – 1981} with her Daughters, my Great Aunt Minnie (still living) and my Grandmother, Fannie Louella aka Anbownes {1920 – 1992}.

I adore the Church Sister hats, and Aunt Minnie’s diva pose (that’s so her!:-). They are standing in Winton Terrace, the housing projects where my Grandma lived and where I have many a sweet memory from. Grandma was my babysitter until I began Kindergarten!:-)

What’s the occasion? I have no clue. Easter Sunday? Church service at Allen Temple AME? Eastern Star gathering?

Each of these Jackson SHEros holds a special place in my heart and I miss them more than a dozen Wordy Wednesdays can capture.

Luckie.

It was only after the 1981 passing of my Great Grandmother,  Annie CARTER JACKSON (1898-1981), that I came to understand the depth of her presence in our family — she was truly the glue that held everyone and everything in place.

Grandma Jackson was everything a Grandmother should be ~ patient, wise, sweet and nurturing. Part of the reason I’ve been challenged in the quest to overcome my java-habit, is because as a child, Grandma Jackson would prepare me a very weak cup of hot tea with milk to make me think I was sharing a cup of coffee with her!

To this day, when I need comfort, I retreat to a cup of coffee and it pulls me back to a time when life was much simpler and I was surrounded by a clan of loving women.

Grandma Jackson was also known for her infamous Washington-Wilkes sayings, that though funny on the surface, carried very true meanings.  Ironic how I still find myself quoting these in my daily life! My favorite Annie Saying is  “A cow will need his tail to fan flies for more than one summer.”, which meant –  don’t worry if someone does you wrong, they will soon need you again!

I can still remember Grandma’s long silver hair that she allowed me to style endlessly, hanging clothes on the line in her backyard in one of her favorite house-coats, wrapping her hand around my neck, with her tongue between her teeth, to braid my hair and bathing a tiny me in her kitchen sink.

The hymns she hummed constantly — at the most unexpected times — flow from my mouth to remind me that she is not far away. That I am still her special girl. I’ll Fly Away was her favorite:

One bright morning when this life is over,
I’ll fly away, Oh Glory
I’ll fly away; (in the morning)
Oh when I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I’ll fly away (I’ll fly away)

Grandma Jackson crossed over on 10 July 1981, just three days after my 15th birthday.

I am blessed to have had Annie Carter Jackson with me, and grateful for her influence, as it is a key motivator for how as a woman, I live my life.

I miss you dearly and hope that I have made you proud Grandma.

Love,

Luckie (aka little Dona)

[Note: The featured image of Grandma was a candid shot snapped by her Son, the late Rev. Ronald Jackson, on one of our frequent Family fishing trips!:-]

Fannie Louella Barwick {1920-1992} ~ Charcoal Portrait 1963

My Maternal Grandmother, I miss you dearly. May your place in our hearts and lives never be forgotten.

Luckie.

[Portrait by Henry Brown 1963 ~ Cincinnati, OH]

I am blessed to have grown up with the constant presence & love of 3 WONDERFUL Grandmothers – Grandma Annie JACKSON, Grandma Lena BARWICK & Anbownes {Fannie JACKSON BARWICK}, my Maternal Grandmother.

Grandma Jackson & Grandma Barwick were PURE sweetness. God fearing & traditional women – I can’t recall ever hearing them even curse. They were faithful to a fault, each of my Great Grandmothers married [and remained with] men who were Alcoholics.

In spite of their life struggles, both Grandmas rose above the challenges to remain thankful for the present & hopeful of the future. They were EVERYTHING a Grandmother should be — warm, nurturing, patient, wise & oft times, funny as heck!

And then there was Anbownes — sharp, fair, honest, quick-witted & 100% real! Fannie B. was straight with NO chaser. She was everything I strive to be today. In my eyes there was NOTHING she could not do!

When I was 10 years old, I was given an assignment to create a sod house for an upcoming school Spring fair. I had no clue what to do or how, but Anbownes did!

We “collaborated” on my school project together! Okay — so I watched while Anbownes built!:-)

When it was all said & done, I had a multi-roomed sod house, complete with a functioning door that swung open & shut! The school loved my little sod mansion so much, I was given a Merit Award for the effort & featured in the local newspaper!

Tonight, while digging through an old suitcase found in my Mom’s closet, I discovered the original Merit Award issued to me, Donna Daniels [they misspelled my name!] on May 20th, 1977.

I can still recall the pride I felt accepting  praise & the certificate for Anbownes’ stealth design work — I had no shame at all!:-)

As of tonight, I am now the owner of a true treasure, the charcoal portrait of my Anbownes at age 43 yrs — the age I am today. It’s a part of my Mom’s keepsakes that have now made their way to me.

The gift is bittersweet — yes, I’ve longed for the portrait FOREVER but given the circumstances, I’d gladly exchange it in a heartbeat to roll the calendar back a mere 2 years for my Mom.

I feel a little sorry for Baby Jaiya. So young, I wonder what she will remember about my Mom? Or for Justis, who has to witness the Grandmother who’s protected him his whole life, slowly disappear. Or Jay, who was blessed to have my Mom & Anbownes at their very best. Guess I feel sorry for all 3 of my children, just in different ways.

If I can one day be the kind of Grandmother I was blessed to have or the kind my Mom has been to my clan, I will have lived a blessed life.

A good Grandmother shapes who you GROW to be — her seeds are the nurturing kind. They get planted,  receive lots of watering & then when the season is right, they bloom.

Amazing, I see it so clearly now… thank goodness their labor of love was not in vain.

Luckie.

The NOTORIUS Walter Carl JACKSON {1894-1966} was my Maternal Great Grandfather. Born to Lucy JACKSON HOUSEWORTH in Atlanta on March 29th 1894, his siblings were Uncles Marion, Fred & uhmmm… Zacharias {trust me — another story, for another day!:-}.

Grandpa Jackson passed away when Mom was pregnant with me, so I just missed the opportunity to know him.

And while family opinion about his “bubbly” personality varies, my Mother describes him as “amusing” {and alil cantankerous}. As the first Granddaughter, she was known as “his Girl” – never doing any wrong in his eyes.

While knowing of him doesn’t quite drive me mad, not knowing much about his side of the family certainly does!

I have few pictures of Walter Carl, none of his Mother or siblings & the family history is “sketchy” at best.

Raise JACKSON-PRUITT-ASKEW questions in the presence of my Great Aunts Minnie & Mitzi {his Daughters} & you have uttered fighting words as to which Sister has the REAL history!

Yep, there will be a MANY a brick wall to kick down here!:-)

Luckie.

Harry Ester Jackson {1918-1960} was my Mom’s Uncle – my Grandmother Fannie’s oldest Brother.

Anbownes {our name for Fannie} used to say that her Brother Harry was the best looking of his siblings and knew it!

My Mother says this picture doesn’t do him justice… she describes him as “Clark Gable fine” and says that when he entered a room, it lit UP! Always smiling, she says that she never saw him angry.

Mom says Uncle Harry would park his shiny Cadillac in front of my Great-Grandmother Annie’s house at 1401 Baymiller Street in Cincinnati & start walking.

When asked why, he would respond “Baby, they can’t track Uncle Harry’s footsteps!”.

She loved him enough to name her first born son {my oldest Brother} Harry, after him.

Luckie.

The beauty of being a part of a GeneaTribe is that you get inspired & supported by others in the community.

This morning my inspiration comes by way of Mavis @ Georgia Black Crackers {maternal line} & Conversations With My Ancestors {paternal line} and her reflections this week on Uncles JD & Johnnyson.

Reading about Uncle Johnnyson’s influence over Mavis as a girl made me reflect on the uncle who had the greatest influence in my life as a girl, Uncle Jake {Ronald Marion Jackson Sr.}.

Uncle Jake was a chubby, jolly, happy man who loved God, family, fishing & laughing!:-)

Though they were the same age, he was my Mom’s Uncle… the baby of the Jackson clan – Harry, Fannie {my Grandmother}, Marie, Theodore, Mitzi & Minnie.

As a girl, my Sisters & I spent EVERY summer in Lima, OH with Uncle Jake’s family – Aunt Charlotte & Cousins Rhonda, Angie & Ronnie Jr. 

Uncle Jake was Pastor of an AME Church & boy could he preach! In my mind I can still see him in his preachers robe, sitting on the wide pulpit & watching to see if we {the kids} were behaving!

Obviously, we spent LOTS of time in church. To this day, when I hear the song “His Eye Is On The Sparrow”, I think of the young girl “Penny”, who could rock that song OUT!:-)

We also spent lots of time fishing {by way of Winnebago} , laughing & stirring-up mischief!

Both then & now, Uncle Jake represented everything normal & good about family. He was my role model for how a man should be.

Recently my Great Aunt Mitzi saw this picture of Uncle Jake & shared how proud he was of it, telling my Great Grandmother Annie,  ”I sho’nuff posed for my picture Ma!”. He was 7 years old.

We lost Aunt Charlotte to Cancer in 1980, which broke Uncle Jake’s heart. And in 1981 we lost both Uncle Jake & Rhonda {age 17} to a tragic automobile accident, which broke the heart of our family.

So thank you Mavis, for in a time when family role models are lean, reminding me of a time when that was not the case.

Luckie.