Madness Monday: A Friendly Warning of Caution for the GeneaBlogger Community
Well Friends, this is not a post I’ve been looking forward to writing. As a matter of fact, I’ve put the task off the entire day — wishing that the issues prompting it, would somehow magically disappear.
But alas, they have not and being the kind of gal to face matters head-on, here goes it…
For the past two months, I have attempted to privately manage an issue, with a fellow genea-community member (who at this time will remain unnamed), that has escalated from a difference of opinion to ongoing harassment and violation of my privacy on the part of the respective community member.
My initial request was simple — following a series of events, having realized this is not a person I desired to associate with, I requested that the community member discontinue any future contact with me.
For me, this issue could have — should have — ended there. Within a community, people with differing opinions can coexist and as adults, respecting another person’s boundaries should not be a challenge.
Sadly, this has not been the case. This person has continued to seek various ways to not only be in contact with me, but to impact my life directly. From contacting people in my personal circle requesting they relay messages, to shadowing my movements and/or interactions within the genealogy space, to attempting discussions pertaining to me with members in the broader community. The actions have been non-stop and deliberately invasive.
When random methods to prompt a verbal response from me fail, the community member contacts me directly, completely ignoring my repeated requests to not do so.
The community member’s actions have escalated, most times appearing very manic, unpredictable and desperate. I have no idea why this person has attached to me, a virtual stranger, or what he/she hopes to accomplish, as I have done nothing to prevent interaction with the GeneaBlogger community as a whole. I’ve simply prevented this person from having direct contact with me.
That said, today I contacted local Atlanta authorities to make them aware of this person’s actions, and provided a very extensive paper/digital trail to support my concerns.
Here’s what the person in question should be CRYSTAL CLEAR on:
- My tolerance/patience with you has run-out. I do not wish you any harm, but likewise, I will not allow you to inflict any on me and/or the people I care about.
- I will no longer protect your privacy. This is the last time you will be addressed anonymously by me.
- Any continued actions on your part to harm me — in any manner — will result in immediate legal action and full disclosure to the GeneaBlogger community of the extent of your harassment leading up to today.
To the GeneaBlogger community, I will confess that in the 12+ years I’ve worked and played in the online space, this is a first. It is a reminder that not everyone has the same motive as you when engaging online and that caution should always be a part of our interactions with strangers.
Be careful and follow your instincts. Pay attention and when something just doesn’t feel right — trust it.
Know that I am well, safe and happy. I am too stubborn to ALLOW anyone to dump their misery on me and will spare no effort to protect the life I’ve worked so hard to have.
In other words (to the community member in question), this is the time to let go and move on.
May life flow with ease for us all.
Luckie.
That is very creepy. It is good that you contacted authorities. Not often that having a presence online leads to something like that but it’s best that others know about it when it does.
Toni
Luckie ~ so sorry to hear that you have been experiencing such unpleasantness. Hope everything gets resolved soon and you can put it behind you.
Keep smiling ;-D {HUGS} ~ Les
Luckie, This is terrible. Hopefully your post will put an end to it but even if it seems to, don’t let your guard down anytime soon.
Linda
Luckie:
Stay safe! You’re right about trusting your instincts. I hope this person leaves you alone now.
{hugs},
Lisa
Hi Luckie. Sorry to hear about this issue. I’m so glad you brought it out in the open. Hopefully, that will put an end to the probrlem. Be well, Dionne
Luckie,
Just to piggy back on what the others are saying – Hope the person gets the message…I am also glad that you are advising us on what’s happening.
Stay Safe
Hopefully, this solves the problem once and for all.
What a waste of energy! Looks to me as if you have handled this situation admirably. Hope it gets resolved soon.
I’m sorry to hear about these turn of events that have happened to you Luckie. I hope this person gets the message loud and clear.
Luckie,
Sounds like you have been very patient with this person. You can’t change who he/she is but hopefully, they will stop harassing you. Even if they do, consider what Linda said. My Dad’s old girl used to say “every shut eye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone”. OR as the old cowboys used to do, sleep with one finger on the trigger. I don’t mean that literally, folks.
Luckie, it’s so very sad that someone cannot respect another’s wishes and privacy and it’s very scary when someone doesn’t get the message. I am so sorry you have had to deal with a person like this…but you have handled it perfectly and relieved you are safe.
Thank you for the warning…never would I have thought that within our geneablogging community would we have to deal with this issue, I honestly felt it was a community of support, help and fellowship. I think for the most part it is but you are right, we need to listen to our guts and pay attention.
Friends, thank you for your support & comments of encouragement. This has been a challenging issue for me. I am a Buddhist (yes, I know I look more like a biker!:-) & our core principle is not to bring harm to others.
I don’t think this person understands, that my disconnect was not to bring harm but to protect myself from energy that was less than beneficial. I see clearly now, I made the right decision.
There is no pleasure associated with what’s happened. The way you recognize people who are hurting is that they cause harm and hurt to others. This is a sad & wounded person.
I’m putting this issue behind me.
It is my hope this person will seek help for what ails them & that my warning is fully heeded.
I am a woman of my word, I will act as I have promised to protect myself & others.
That said, let’s get back to genealogy, shall we?
Luckie.
I apologize for being a little late with my comments.
First – do whatever you need to do to keep yourself and your family safe – in the virtual world and the online world – even when these two worlds bleed into each other. I admire you for what you are doing in that respect.
Second – know that everyone has a right to feel safe online. And everyone has a right to set limits to how they want to be involved, how online activities seep into our virtual lifes. It is part of taking care of ourselves.
I will follow this up with a post shortly but the bottom line is this: one of the great freedoms of our great country is the right to be left alone. Especially if you communicate this constantly to one or more people.
I pray that the person who has been causing problems for you (and others) looks at what they’ve been doing and gets some help – either through introspection or professionally.
[...] the heels of two recent posts by Luckie Daniels over on Our Georgia Roots, Monday Madness: A Friendly Warning of Caution for the GeneaBlogger Community and [A Very] Wordy Wednesday: Forever the Community Advocate, But, Aren’t We All?- I am reminded [...]
Pingback by I Am My Sister’s Keeper ~ Lessons on Friendship and Community Responsibility » — 30 April 2010 @ 12:12 amI’m so sorry you’ve been having these problems.
I don’t know how I could help you, but if something comes up please let me know.
Evelyn in Montreal
Hope all works out well in the end and this person backs off and respects your request
Lucky, You are in our prayers. You certainly did the right thing. It is so sad when someone has nothing better to do with their time than to harrass another person. And especially after being asked to be left alone!
Thank you for making us all aware that even in our own cloistered genealogy circle, we must still be alert!
Stay safe.
Cyndi