I love this picture of my Great-Grandmother, Annie CARTER JACKSON {1898 – 1981} with her Daughters, my Great Aunt Minnie (still living) and my Grandmother, Fannie Louella aka Anbownes {1920 – 1992}.

I adore the Church Sister hats, and Aunt Minnie’s diva pose (that’s so her!:-). They are standing in Winton Terrace, the housing projects where my Grandma lived and where I have many a sweet memory from. Grandma was my babysitter until I began Kindergarten!:-)

What’s the occasion? I have no clue. Easter Sunday? Church service at Allen Temple AME? Eastern Star gathering?

Each of these Jackson SHEros holds a special place in my heart and I miss them more than a dozen Wordy Wednesdays can capture.

Luckie.

Sallie WINGFIELD {d. 1970}, my 4th Great Aunt, Daughter of James and Catie [Dickey] WINGFIELD.

This image was also taken at Rensler’s Photography Studio in Cincinnati, Ohio abt the year 1930, along with the images of Aunt Daisy DORSEY JACKSON (Sallie’s younger Sister) and Grandma Catie.

I am heading to Cincinnati this weekend to pick up my first round of Rensler’s glass plate negatives!

Wish me luck!:-)

Luckie.

Daisy DORSEY JACKSON, my 4th Great Aunt, Daughter of Catie [Dickey] WINGFIELD and Joe DORSEY.

This image was also taken at Rensler’s Photography Studio in Cincinnati, Ohio abt the year 1930. If you notice, Aunt Daisy is holding the same bushel of roses and sitting on the same bench as Grandma Catie.

My Rensler images are coming to me. Accepting no brick walls. Accepting no delays.

Luckie.

Prompted by the Ancestor sharing of @Sjtaliaferro {Minnie Toliver} and @NCChemist {Nuna Pierce Jackson} AND perhaps, Great Aunt Lillie Mae herself, I feel moved to tell her story soon…

I hear you Lillie Mae.

Lest we forget…

Luckie.

The Slave Barracoons on River Street ~ very much our African Ancestors American Door of No Return. The view from the inside looking out.

Lest we forget…

Luckie.

My Grandmother, Fannie Louella Jackson Barwick {Anbownes} and Jay at age 5 yrs! She adored him and vice-versa!:-)

There truly are no words for how much you are missed…

Luckie.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Luckie.

A new year has arrived and without a doubt, I am blessed.

I am so thankful for life and opportunity… for the ability to dig deeper to be the person I was placed on this earth to be.

While I don’t consider myself particularly wise, I do feel that life has seasoned me and I’ve learned to listen to my spirit when it speaks. Anyone who really knows me will tell you that logic doesn’t stand a chance against the notions of my heart — I follow it without question or apology.

So this week, as I’ve tried multiple times to pen my first jovial post for 2010, the only word that has come into my Spirit is BALANCE. Balance?! Ahhh, balance!

And truth be told, I know why this is the only word I can summon — because I am completely lacking of it!:-)

It is clear to me that I am accustomed to taking care of everyone BUT me. From work to the kids to Mom to the house… I spend endless hours making sure they are all preserved and happy yet, I cannot tell you the last time I took a nap or completed a book or had a self-indulging manicure.

What happened to the Alzheimer’s Support Group I planned to join or the rogue Genealogy tactics I outlined in 2009? Where is the meditation that grounds me or the frequent connecting with community that strengthens me? What happened to the coffee house visits with a good book that I always made time for?! Geez, when was the last time I had a date?!!!

While I admit, my life no longer affords time to be the fashion diva I once was, this new frumpy, unkempt incarnation is COMPLETELY unacceptable!

I can honestly say that it’s been MANY months since I’ve engaged in even the simplest act that brings me happiness. Frankly, by the time I finish with everyone else, I’m just too tired for me…

So all this is to say my first post of the New Year is actually the benchmark post for the entire year. It’s not as eloquent or jolly as I’d hoped however 100% warranted. It will be the post I reflect on and look to to gauge my future progress.

It’s time to pull life back, closer to the middle. It’s time for me [once again] to seek balance.

I have a list of tasks for myself to execute — even started on some of them today!:-)

I hope you, my also overly nurturing and selfless GeneaTribe will join me in the effort because I believe it is totally acceptable [and necessary] to save some of who we are for ourselves.

We are deserving.

Luckie.

A few nights ago, my big Sister Gina called to inform me that my Niece Jasmine would soon be visiting Jamestown, Virginia as a part of a class fieldtrip.

Gina wanted to pass on to Jazzy’s teacher, our family’s direct link to Jamestown. Hmmm…

To date, I have not set a foot on Jamestown soil. Knowing the history of the Jamestown 20 alone, I’ve wrestled over the years with the need I feel to take in the experience, the history vs. the DEEP resentment I feel from knowing that for my/our African Ancestors, this is where it all is said to have begun on a August day in 1619.

But I think I am starting to see the error in my logic — I have been wrong.

Jamestown, Virginia is in many respects our U.S. incarnation of the Ivory Coast’s Door of No Return. It marked the beginning of a journey, that would bring unforeseen suffering to not only our Ancestors, but their descendants, for MANY generations to come.

The Jamestowne Colony was the root of Slavery’s tree… the various slave ports, its branches.

I have never taken any particular pride in the fact that the WINGFIELD clan who migrated to Washington-Wilkes (by way of Virginia) and owned my Ancestors, were descendants of Edward Maria WINGFIELD — Jamestown’s first President. Is it possible knowing of the WINGFIELD-Jamestown connection has made me even more biased towards visiting the colony?

Seeing this image of African Ancestors in 1850 being Baptized in the James River makes me want to travel there to pour Libation for every Ancestor and their descendants who’ve walked that soil since arriving in 1619.

It began with 20, ended with having indentured well over 400 thousand and has impacted uncalculated millions.

I will visit — soon. At the least, I owe them that…

I pay homage to the Jamestown 20.

Luckie.

 [Image Source:  LIFE - Baptist congregation members during baptismal ceremony in the James River; VA, US 1850]

Well it appears my Twitter-Blogging-Email hiatus is officially over!

I have backed-up emails for DAYS, I’ve missed several new genea-discoveries I am sure {@NCChemist, @Sjtaliaferro, @LCAfricana, @Matfam42 & @SpenceLowry – please catch me up!:-} & I just cannot bear to have the porno-spammers being able to follow me via Twitter — taking full advantage of my absence! Go away people!

I certainly needed to pull away for a few days to double-check on me. I needed to know that I am okay because there are days when though I know I must be – I don’t feel that I am.

On the Genealogy front things are a bit quiet for me — kinda…

As suspected, my researcher in Georgetown Texas has all but confirmed that the Cody Collection at Southwestern is absent of any slave related data. This I admit, irks me to no end!

I fear my honesty regarding my feelings for the CODYS of old may have scared away my pal Lori, a CODY descendant. While harboring no animosity towards Lori, I was clear to her that I offer no reprieve to the Ancestors who owned my Catie & other relatives. I hope it’s just a coincidence, but I haven’t heard from her since.

I’ve been reading — Slavery by Another Name. It’s a hard BUT necessary read for all of us — especially anyone under the impression that following the Emancipation Proclamation, life became much easier for African-Americans in the US! The realities of the historical examples provided by Douglas Blackmon are cutting & relevant to why culturally, we’ve continued to struggle in the face of “freedom”.

I’ll be heading to Washington-Wilkes soon. An epiphany panned out & I now know that the Washington-Wilkes Historical Musuem has in its possession, slave bills of sale & original Wilkes County wills! Can’t wait to see what I can turn up — I have a feeling I won’t be able to pass up these artifacts, be they related or not.

And my Mom, she is still struggling to understand what’s happened to her & life as she knew it.

This weekend while riding with me, she took my hand & thanked me for being who I am… said she doesn’t know what she’d do without me.

My Mom has ALWAYS seen more in me than I’ve seen in myself. It is that Daughter/Woman that I am challenged to be today — when she needs her the most.

This is my work to do & I will do it. I absolutely REFUSE to let her go this road alone.

Pray for me & I for you.

Luckie.